The continuing series commenting on ABC's The Bachelorette from a man's point of view. Our own Matt Truck (@BroTruck) watches the show with his wife and awards points based on many factors, all of which test whether or not the act on the show is "Bro Council, Approved." Each positive "manly" act gets a +, while points are deducted for things that aren't as flattering to your manhood. You can check out the ground rules here.
This week's episode started off with a bit of a curve ball (pun intended...you'll see), as Des picks several guys for a group date. To begin, the selected guys faced off against talent from the National Dodgeball League (I can't believe I didn't know about this....easily the best team name is the "Philadelphia Justice"). The guys then get split up to play against each other in a best of three face-off for time with Des in the evening.
Let me just say it: Dodgeball rules. My high school had to start calling it "Evasive Maneuvering", after rumors circled that administrators wanted to shut it down after several concussions. This is what men are all about: a totally useless sport that consists of running, throwing an object as hard as humanly possible, with the only defense we have being our hands. Great choice, Des!
The teams get split up, and Mikey T. gives Des a solid fist bump pre-match (+1). In the first game, Drew makes the final out, then responds with a fist pump that would make any MLB closer proud (+1). The series goes to a rubber match, but not without Brooks first breaking his finger and needing it to be reset. Rather than play it cool, Brooks lays it out there and starts to realize the pain. Too bad it was hard to concentrate on the seriousness of the moment, as he's wearing a red cloth tank top, white headband, knee socks, and shorts that, at best, approached 6 inches above the top of the knee cap.
Des brings everyone to the night portion of the date, and Brooks makes an appearance...wearing the same outfit. Here's to you, Brooks (+1), but next time don't snuggle under a Burberry-pattern blanket (-1).
At one point in the evening, Chris steals Des away to an abandoned helicopter that he "found" randomly. Hardly random – I'm pretty sure Jack Bauer landed on this same pad multiple times to capture a terrorist in 24. Great TV taste, Chris, and even better that you can incorporate it into your love life. (+1).
Kasey gets a one-on-one date. Des takes him to dance...hanging sideways off of a skyscraper. And you thought dancing with both feet on the earth is challenging. Kasey tries like a champ (+1), only to realize that "bandalooping" isn't as easy as riding a bike. (I had to look this up. How didn't I know about this either? Also, how in the world was I expected to spell that without good old Google?)
In the night portion of Kasey's date, inclement weather conditions lead Des and Kasey to jump into a pool without checking the temperature (measure twice, cut once). Kasey tries to romance her in the pool, and warm her up with a smooch (I'd classify this under a "court awareness" issue; -1). To Kasey's credit though, he laughs this off and rolls with the punches (+1). He managed to have a good time and a good attitude, despite the planning of the date being a struggle, and having a date counterpart in Des being upset after having to send one of the guys home early.
The second group date is stunt practice with the team in charge of choreographed action in the new film, The Lone Ranger. After practicing, the guys have to perform for Des, with the winner getting a private screening of the film with Des (my favorite part about this is the fact that clearly we're looking at a green screen with an edited-in shot of the film). During the proceedings, Dan splits his chaps down the seam when getting on the horse, then carries right on through (+1 for the stoic resolve). In the evening portion, James gets the "group date rose", but counters by offering a flower of his own that he picked up (+1 for one-upsmanship).
Des cancels the cocktail party, opting instead for a pool party. The level of testosterone in the hot tub was out of this world. At one point, all the remaining guys just randomly started grunting and shouting. I hear you, bro! (+1 for all of them).
More drama with Ben ensued, and Mikey T. and Michael G. both re-confront him. I need a spin-off series with Michael G. and Mikey T. doing just about anything. These two are a great duo. I think it would have to be something with interrogation, at this rate.
Brandon and Dan are sent home.
The group of guys left for Des all seem like manly men, and none of them seem to be shy about busting out the tank top...just as it should be.
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