Today marks one of the most shocking days in the history of sports. The Pittsburgh Pirates of Major League Baseball are in first place, and it's not the first week of the season.
In related news, fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling! Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes! The dead rising from the grave! Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together...mass hysteria! Get the point?
(Bonus man-points for you if you know where that quote is from.)
Congratulations, Pirates. And our apologies, Cubs fans.