Today, Bro Council reaches an important landmark; we launch our first non-profit, PETI. What's PETI you ask? It's the People for the Ethical Treatment of Imaginary animals.
Last year, another organization called PETA (no relation) launched a website which allows you to play a variation of the classic Super Mario Brothers 3 video game. In the original, your imaginary character can find a magic leaf inside a magical floating box and transform into a magical flying raccoon, who happens to be a cute little character called a Tanooki. In this PETA version, a deranged Mario is flying with your bloody skin over an evil land. You have to try to catch Mario and get your skin back. This is what the scene looks like:
There are several things wrong with this. Number one, this version of the game is just too hard. I tried for a good three minutes to get my skin back and it's impossible. Number two, the "angry" Tanooki character in the game is too funny looking. The whole time I just wanted to get my own pet Tanooki. Third, I can't stress enough how incredibly bad this game is. I just might go dust my Nintendo Entertainment System off and start playing the original again...I can't wait to play as Tanooki Mario! And finally, as stated before, this is all an imaginary video game. Mario doesn't wear Tanooki fur because Mario doesn't exist.
What are they going to go after next? Should we just stand idly by as PETA throws blood on Luigi for stomping on the heads of the rare Koopa turtle? Should we be silent as they harass Ash Ketchum for keeping his beloved Pikachu in a tiny ball? I won't even get into the animal-on-animal violence we'll miss out on in Super Smash Brothers if PETA has their way.
We at Bro Council couldn't stand for this travesty of justice! We know what PETA really wants...they're trying to ruin the lives and images of imaginary creatures everywhere. PETA has gone too far, and we won't stand for it. Just take a look at some of the other imaginary characters they're planning on going after next:
If you want to help us fight the tyranny of the PETA people, please share this article with friends and family by clicking the like button above - Tweet it too. PETI will not rest until all video game characters are safe!