You Might Live In The Hood If...

hood-if

Written by Laura

Do you live in the Hood? I do.

To be read in the style of Jeff Foxworthy’s “…you might be a redneck.”

If there is a pair of sneakers hanging on the powerlines outside your house…you might live in the Hood.

If new neighbors move in and a little boy stops by their house, gives them money and receives a brown paper bag, you don’t think, “Oh! He forgot his lunch,” you think, “Great. Drug dealers moved in next door,” …you might live in the Hood.

If your yard consists mostly of cement…you might live in the Hood.

If the main business district has two Rent-A-Centers and three check-cashing places within four blocks...you might live in the Hood.

If you’ve ever described a fight by saying, “There was weave everywhere!”…you might live in the Hood.

If your five-year mortgage payment costs less than the rent you paid at your last two apartments…you might live in the Hood.

If you bought a lock for your fence not to keep the dog in, but to keep people from stealing him…you might live in the Hood.

If you have a set response to, “Hey man, spare a dollar?”…you might live in the Hood.

If you wake up to thumping bass or police sirens at least once a week…you might live in the Hood.

If yard work includes picking up trash…you might live in the Hood.

If you’ve gotten your license plate stolen. Twice. …you might live in the Hood.

If you’ve ever said the phrase, “Don’t worry about that guy talking to himself. He just thinks he’s Michael Jackson”…you might live in the Hood.

If your grocery store’s chip and soda aisle is bigger than their produce section…you might live in the Hood.

If your neighbor says, “If you ever need anything… I’ve got a gun.”…you might live in the Hood.

And finally: If your friends are scared to visit you …you might live in the Hood.

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