We don't think it's fair that all of these non-essential workers are getting time off, and we're not. By definition, non-essential means they are not needed, so why are we paying them in the first place? In honor of that, I'm allowing all of our writers to shut down as well since, technically, they're non-essential too.
Maybe someday our elected officials will stop behaving like petulant children and work together, but until then we have to deal with their behavior, and we should shut down those that are responsible for this in the next election. And to clarify, that includes people on all sides of the political spectrum. So Democrats, stop blaming the Republicans for the fact that a lot of people hate your horrible health care plan, and remember that you are the party that didn't pass the budget that they approved and would have kept the country going because it didn't include funding for said health care plan. And Republicans, stop putting our economy at risk by shutting down our government because you were too ignorant to be this upset about the health care plan that everyone has known about for years until it was so late in the game that your "strategy" would cause huge problems for the people you represent.
So we'll be back tomorrow with your regular updates, we just wanted to put our two cents in to tell our elected leaders to get their collective acts together. We all have that two cents to put in, so we encourage you to study up on the facts* and tell your elected officials what you want. Remember; they work for us.
And, on second thought...maybe we should get rid of all those non-essential employees for good. We haven't noticed any difference in the way things run, and it would be a much more awesome experience to run through our National Parks without being watched over by park rangers all the time. Amiright?
*As a reminder: facts come from unbiased sources - not MSNBC, CNN, or Fox News.