Hi Rachel,
Why does it always seem like girls like to watch sports way more when you're "casually dating" than when you're "in a relationship"? Is it just to get you reeled in or does something change with hormones or something after the relationship is established?
Thanks,
Jack.
(I had to call in some reinforcements on this one) - Rachel :)
Janella says:
Whoa Jack,
First of all, one must be extremely, EXTREMELY careful when invoking the name of the hormone goddesses....they have twitchy tempers and will not hesitate to smite one who fails to comprehend the depth of their complicated doings.
That being said, I can tell you exactly why girls watch more sports when "casually dating" than they do when in a more stable relationship. It is actually pretty simple. Follow me if you can:
1) Watching sports is a pretty normative thing. It's comfortable, there are scripts around how to act, what to say, and there is a focus for both of you so you can take a break from thinking about the status of the relationship for a second, or if you remembered to put deodorant on, or if this budding relationship is going anyplace that will fulfill a lifetime of social, intellectual and spiritual goals for each of you, or how you wish the rest of the bros would all go out for like 5 hours of touch football or something so you can make out....I mean, dang.....sometimes you need a break and a fun un-thoughtful way to just spend some time together and watch huge people smash into each other a lot! Plus, you get beer and chips.
2) The dating time is all about learning about each other -- and few sports lovers I know are able to keep their inner selves hidden when winning streaks (or losing ones) are on the line.
3) When we are courting, we do all sorts of things that we don't necessarily like because we like to just be around each other, the pheromones are glazing over any slight distaste we may have with incessantly repetitive commercials, and the novelty of presence is enough to hold interest through the endless barrage of fart jokes...but once we are in a relationship and the simple act of being in physical proximity is no longer firing the fever, I'm less likely to hang out for activities I slightly dislike. Why do the dudes I see all seem to be cool with shopping and art shows and my oldest friend's birthday party until the initial chase is over and then suddenly they've got like "work and stuff"? Same deal...
4) And here's one that may throw you: Some women actually have the awareness and perspective to understand that guys sometimes just need time with the guys, and that time away (even if the time is filled with your bros and beers and buckets of chicken) can breed a deeper longing and an enthusiastic mate on Sunday Nights (after the night game of course).
5) If you truly want a woman who can go the distance with you on the sports watching, then you have to find one of those rare individuals whose combination of upbringing, athletic history, siblings, and what other people told them they couldn't do has turned them into a bigger, more obsessive sports fan than you are. They exist, trust me. Oh, just be careful what you wish for.
Much love,
- Janella
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