Dear Bro Council Women,
I can play a little bit of the guitar and I'm trying to impress this girl I want to date. We're going to be at the same party this week, and I may have the opportunity to break out the guitar and sing her something.
If I write her a song is that weird or romantic? We've known each other for almost a year, but we have never dated. Thank you!
Elijah
Dear Elijah,
If it’s a gathering where it seems socially acceptable to bust out your guitar and start singing, by all means, go for it. However, while you’re sharing your talents, please make sure it’s in a communal space where anyone can enjoy it. From your letter, I’m imagining a scenario in which you are pulling this girl aside and singing a song that you wrote just for her that you’re playing just for her…and that scenario is uncomfortable.
Please don’t take this as a message to stymie your self-expression. Go ahead and write the song! You can even sing it at the party, in the whole group, and without identifying her as your inspiration. You don’t want to overwhelm your friend, or risk embarrassing her in front of all of your mutual friends. If she’s especially impressed by your musical talents (or interested in you), maybe she’ll stick around after everyone else has moved on and you can play a few more songs for her. I would suggest holding off on revealing to her that she’s your muse until you know for sure that she sees you as more than a friend.
It’s a tricky situation if you value her friendship. Trying too hard or moving too fast is not romantic, and you may lose a good friend in the process. Conversely, being too shy and not acting on your feelings won’t work either. If you are at a good place in your relationship where you feel pretty comfortable talking with her honestly, you could try just telling her that you’ve really been enjoying the time you’ve been spending with her, and are interested in getting to know her even more.
Hopefully,
Rachel
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