Oh Florida, you have outdone yourself this time...
Dateline: Fort Myers, FL, where 21 year old Matthew Bruni, a carnival worker, was recently arrested by police. A carny being arrested wouldn't be big news in and of itself, but ask yourself this - why did he get arrested? Now you're on to something! Here is Bruni's story:
The victims, Tony and LaDonna Land, were at their home when they heard something on the roof. After seeking out the source of the noise, they discovered Bruni naked on the roof. It was at this time that the suspect jumped off the roof and onto one of the victims, knocking them over, and ran into their house. On the way in Bruni was apparently in Hulk Mode as he pulled a 72 inch TV off the wall and throwing it to the ground.
Tony Land then yelled for his wife to grab their gun as Bruni was trashing the house. The wife fired three shots at Bruni with a .38 revolver, missing him on all three (insert your own "she couldn't even hit the broad side of a wall at point blank range joke here). It was at this time Bruni fell to the floor and began to do things that are usually only done in the privacy of your bedroom, and - more importantly - your own bedroom.
Before the police arrived, the suspect ran to the victims child's room and began rubbing his face with clothes, and even had time to defecate on the floor in the hallway and at some point found time to do the same at the front door as well. The police eventually had to taser the suspect and take him into custody. Here is an excerpt from the 911 tape, it's a beauty:
Operator: "Okay sir, I need to know who you shot."
Tony Land: "I don't know who the hell he is, he's naked and he run into my damn house."
Operator: "Sir, sir what is going on?"
Tony Land: "(Bleep) you're fixing to die now!"
Tony Land: "Lay down, I'm talking to you, I won't say it again! Lay down, (bleep) give me my shotgun now I need the shotgun not the pistol, I'm going to...
You're up Ohio, can't wait to see how they top the story of Matt Bruni, the naked carny.
[Source - Fox 4 Now]