The infamous "jerk" stole my girl from under my nose. I've contemplated simply giving him a beatdown, but I'd like to walk away from this with my girl and not a lawsuit. What ways can this be done?
Emily's Take: From my experience, there are two people in every relationship. A woman cannot be stolen away from you, her heart had to be open to that opportunity (unless of course she has been kidnapped and then I suggest calling the police.) I think that my first assumption was correct and that she was open to the opportunity to date other people and you should just walk away. You shouldn't stay with someone if her heart is open to other people when she's with you. If you do "win her back," (why would you want to?), you won't be able to trust her moving forward and that will cause even more stress and tension in the relationship and only lead to you getting even more hurt down the line.
You should be with someone that you can trust. I think that you need to take the high road and walk away from the entire situation. Walk away as a single man who will soon be ready to find someone that will love and respect the relationship that she's in and be oblivious to other opportunities. It isn't easy to get over someone but once you get to the other side of that pain, you'll be glad that you did it. I also think you'll find that if you take the time to heal, you're next relationship will be even better.
Kristin's Take: Hey Danny,
It totally sucks when "jerks" steal stuff, right? Just recently a jerk stole the GPS from my car. GPS and I were in a loving six-year-long relationship, and although I’ll admit a few times I left him in a cold Volvo, I depended on him every day. Yet a jerk still managed to steal him from me.
But, here’s the difference between your story and mine: “stealing” a person isn’t the same as stealing a GPS. Because nobody can really “steal” another person; no jerk stole your girl. No intervening person could have ended your relationship if it was great to begin with - you and your girl weren’t working out, and when all the drama and mess is boiled down, your relationship ended and If you and your girl were really that happy, she wouldn’t have left.
That’s a harsh truth, but it doesn’t mean you did something wrong, or she did, or the other guy did. It means two people fell in love - it happens; and it totally sucks that it wasn’t you she’s in love with, but sometimes being an adult sucks. So here’s how you fix it: you let it go. You don’t give anyone a beatdown or get revenge, because life isn’t a Jersey Shore episode. You learn from what went wrong this time; you go on dates and you find someone that makes you happier than the first girl did - I guarantee she’s out there.
Good luck Danny...and be sure to ask your own question to our panel of women here!