Ask A Woman: Metrosexuals
- Aug 7, 2012
- Written by Rachel
What is the official Bro Council stance on a man being a “Metrosexual”?
1. A man concerned with personal appearance, such as personal grooming, fashion, and aesthetics in general; who may or may not be concerned with self-indulgence and money.
Perhaps this should go to Rachel.
Ray and I are both going to give some input on this one...
It's not so much a rule as much as it just seems to happen this way, but a lot of women LOVE metrosexuals....as friends. It is entirely wonderful to have a competent and interested shopping partner, but there's also something extremely unnerving about dating a man who takes longer to get ready for our dates than I do.
Now, vastly differing opinions surround what specific traits constitute a metrosexual, so I think the best I can do is offer some metrosexual traits that are/are absolutely not acceptable.
1. Excellent Hygiene
Approved: regular showers, brushing and flossing, trimming finger and toe nails
Not Approved: multi-step facial cleansing systems (excluding acne treatment...you go ahead and just do what you need to do), foreign imported moisturizing creams, MANicures
2. Great Hair
Approved: Going to a barber every once in a while and getting it cut just a little too short so it will look perfect in about 2 weeks, towel drying and applying max 1 product to style...taking less than 5 minutes
Not Approved: Heat styling tools, overabundance of hair products, taking longer than 5 minutes to style your hair
3. Terrific Fashion Sense
Approved: Having an arsenal of basic pieces that can easily be mixed and matched and then dressed up or down with special wardrobe items depending on the occasion. Dudes are allowed to look good.
Not Approved: Owning more than 4 pairs of shoes (all athletic shoes that are actively used for their intended purpose count as 1 pair), spending longer than 15 minutes choosing situationally appropriate clothing
4. Silky Smooth Skin
Approved: scissors, beard trimmers, razors, and I'll even allow for SOME body waxing, but only under under special circumstances...mostly related to ethnic heritage
Not Approved: threading, laser treatments, electrolysis, Nair
Now for some notes from Ray:
I think Rachel did a great job summarizing the Bro Council stance on Metrosexuals. As Bro Council President, I would like to clarify a few points in an official Bro Council decree.
From this day forth I decree the following:
1. Excellent hygiene is encouraged for all Bro Council members. Deodorant must be worn before any date, and if you want to have a chance at meeting a nice girl take a shower and throw some real cologne on as well. But - manicures and pedicures will be met with a swift beatdown.
2. Barber shops are recommended for all Bro Council members. Hair gel is acceptable, but if we can light your hair on fire because of the amount of styling gel, you will be removed from any Bro Council sanctioned event until you wash your hair and put on a bandana to man yourself up a bit.
3. A good sense of fashion is encouraged. In fact, I believe all men should have at least one pair of really good jeans and a suit. If, however, you are late for a Bro Council event because you were trying to figure out what v-neck made your butt look the best you will be barred from membership until you agree to go out in public in a camoflauged polo shirt and Wrangler jeans.
4. It is ok to shave your face and even your chest if you have a real problem with your chest hair. Keep that leg hair where it's supposed to be though unless you're training for the US Olympic swim team. Also, as a reminder, manicures and pedicures will be met with a swift beatdown.
-Rachel (and Ray)
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