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Ask A Woman: The Quick Phone Number

In a James Blunt situation i.e. on a subway or passing on the street, how can a man quickly flirt/grab her attention, get a number, and continue on about his business as to not be late to wherever it is he is going?

-C. Moore


emily-aawEmily's Take: I’ve got some bad news for you, in most passing situations a woman is going to think you are a desperate creep and not even reply to your attempt at conversation. She’ll suddenly get a phone call (even though her phone didn’t ring or vibrate) and have to shift her attention. This is probably the most difficult way to meet someone and my concern is if you find someone willing to give you their number in after a 2 minute street passing conversation, that she’ll be a desperate girl and trust me, you do not want that! I should also point out that it isn’t impossible. I met one of my boyfriends at an airport gate.

I think your best opportunity to meet someone in passing is on a subway car or bus where you have some time to strike up a real conversation. I think the best way to do this is to approach her with a question, because it begs her for a response. “Do you have any gum” or  “Do you want a piece of gum?” Then you’ve opened the door and can gauge if she wants to meet new people or be left alone. If she seems friendly, you can say, “Hi, I’m Mark” and see if she follows by introducing herself and opens the door to conversation. If you can keep the conversation going, (what do you do? Have you always lived here? Have you ever gone skydiving? A funny story about a trip you took near her hometown) then I would be flattered if someone said to me, “My stop’s next, are you going to be on this train tomorrow? If not, I’d love to get your number so we can continue this conversation over drinks?”

See what happens. It gives her a clear way out – she can tell you she’ll be on the train tomorrow and then not be – or gives her the opportunity to give you a number and take a chance. She’ll have the power over the situation and not feel chased or backed into a corner, but if you do it the right way, I think it makes you come across as kind of smooth and just bold enough. Deep down, most girls want that really good/unique "how we met" story and those passing stranger stories are really unique.


jenny-aawJenny's Take: Cmoore, this a fine line to walk. You can either come across as completely confident or totally creepy. Make sure you feel the connection is mutual, like you both keep making eye contact or exchanging smiles. I know from riding the subway on a daily basis in NYC that there have been many times that I got that vibe from a guy and I just wanted him to start talking to me or ask for my number. I would say business cards are a great way to keep it clean, simple and moving along quickly. Otherwise, a compliment or comment on something she has in her possession could work as well, like if she is holding a newspaper you can bring up the front cover article or if she has a band hoodie on that you like. Make her feel comfortable and then pop the question! And by that I mean...Can I have your number?!

Good luck C. Moore...and be sure to ask your own question to our panel of women here!

About The Author

Emily

Emily is one of our experts on women, because she's a woman. Plus, she's great at advice.

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